Being Coached
June 17, 2022
Kim Dunlop and Kymbal Dunne share their insights into a topic which they have extensive experience in, Kim as a professional business coach and Kymbal as an amateur sporting coach and corporate mentor. They connected through Linkedin because both have spent their careers in real estate. When they met they discussed the importance of coaching and the absence of coaches in real estate and many other industries. As a result, they decided to collaborate on this thought leadership piece, which they believe is the essential ingredient to being your best in business, sport, relationships, retirement and life.
How good are Ariana Titmus and Jai Hindley? Two passionate Australians and the best in the world. Titmus has just broken the 400m freestyle swimming record held by legendary USA swimmer, Katie Ludecky and Hindley has just won the Giro d’Italia. He is the first Australian in history to achieve this feat and only the second to win a grand cycling tour. They are champions but would they be where they are without professional coaching? It’s unlikely.
What’s even more impressive is that Titmus has explained that she has never been happier in herself and Hindley’s early coaches never saw the superstar in him, yet were able to coach it for him. Isn’t it great to see that happiness and perseverance are common traits of success and that both followed their passion and avoided all the obstacles everyone else seems to run into.
One of life’s secrets is being coached. We know it but we don’t talk about it.
We all agree it can be rewarding but some see it as an unfair advantage and that’s why it’s not discussed. It’s like receiving an inheritance. You feel great but nothing good will come from telling others about it. It’s very awkward to share the advantage with others.
The highest paid teachers in the world are in Luxembourg and are paid about US $75k pa according to the OECD. In stark contrast football coaches in the US colleges can earn up to US $10m pa and in professional basketball and NFL it’s more. Coaching can span all parts of life, not just sport but we keep forgetting about its value to us in our development and we underestimate the duration of that as well. In a world where longevity is increasing and some people are living to 100 years of age we underestimate the extent of life’s challenge. Being coached in the first 20 years isn’t really long enough when you have to take those learnings into the next 80 years.
To know the rules, play the game, improve your skills and become a strong competitor are critical factors to success in all parts of life. Of course, there is no substitute for the exposure to experiences but what if in every situation in your life. You’d studied it, role played and had a strategy for what was ahead. What an unfair advantage you’d take through your life.
Imagine learning from an expert coach about a topic which frightens you. Someone who unpacks the components and teaches you how to manage and then calms you. How many situations were initially confronting, a complete surprise or scared us so badly we avoided repeating the lessons. To tackle these situations with an experienced supporter, like a coach allows you to unravel the parts and rebuild the experience through another lens, a different perspective. If we embrace that process, then aren’t we simply adding more skills to our arsenal? Are we now getting closer to being the best that we can?
In our early years the most common coached theme is sport. Particularly in Australia where sport is part of life culture. Later, we return to coaches to achieve entry to good schools or universities. We seem to return to coaching whenever we want something badly. We need to assure ourselves we have utilised every opportunity to showcase our skills and impress.
In sport, the coach is often experienced, understands the rules of the game, may have played it and is responsible for organising the players to enter competition. The coach has the eye for talent, team composition and tactics.
In business and particularly for senior roles, coaching is critical. If you want the big corporate job, you get coached. Some management firms put teams together for months ahead of an interview process just so their candidate can dissect the business and explain to the board of directors how to improve performance and profitability. The board needs to align with the candidate who can run the company and achieve the objectives. Imagine pitching your credentials after convincing the Chair who already agrees with your assessment. You are already the logical candidate to be made an offer. And you thought the interview process was the same for every candidate.
At a point in our lives most people stopped being coached. At that point they are their own coach. The problem is that “you only know what you know”. So, if you need help how can you give it to yourself and if you don’t have a coach, guess what? You are your own coach.
Why does anyone need a coach?
Surgeon, Atul Gawande on TED Talks said "It’s not just how good you are now it’s how good you are going to be!" In his example he invited a senior surgeon to watch him in the operating theatre. He was at his best, yet the observer was able to write three pages of notes which critically assessed his performance. He was surprised but then again, his confidence to be a surgeon meant that he was easily blinded to his weaknesses. Upon accepting the criticism, he changed and got better.
Why is it so important to invest in yourself?
Mainly because if you don’t invest in yourself then why should others? Once you do though you start taking yourself from being good to being great! Ultimately though it’s to build a long-term relationship with yourself and to be able to understand and relate better to others. Our internal Operating System (IOS) consists of beliefs, thinking patterns and assumptions that drive our emotions and behaviour every moment of every day. Most leaders are trying to make sense of their world through an outdated operating system – reactive mind, which is not mature enough to lead in today’s pace of change.
Self-awareness leadership drives results and peak performance. Do you have a strong outer game that has arisen from a mature inner game?
Why do we stop being coached?
When we feel we have nothing more to learn or can’t afford the cost.
Our experience of Coaching & Being Coached
In sharing our rich experiences being coached and being a coach, some interesting aspects came out from our conversation. We both responded favourably to coaching when we saw our own improvement. We were offered coaching roles when we were not necessarily the best or most qualified person at the time. Good coaches rise to meet the occasion regardless.
We’ve witnessed and experienced people being motivated by others and not necessarily for themselves. When English Premier League Champions, Manchester City walk out onto Etihad Stadium the last thing the players see is a poster of all the family members of the players. That’s a reminder of what is important to them and why they train hard to play the game.
We’ve both also been a part of teams that have had success and failures and we’ve seen coaches manage and mismanage both scenarios. We know what unbelievable looks and feels like and the high you get from the experience of developing others.
We’ve been asked to coach teams, and in some instances not really known the rules of the game. What we realized is that you don't have to necessarily know everything to be a good coach, it’s about understanding people and how to get the best out of them. We've also been part of the creation of a winning environment in other areas of life with individuals and business’s and sometimes the hardest challenge is no matter how hard you play the game you can't control the outcome. Once you know that then you simply focus on what is within your control and often that’s in the preparation.
Differences between mentoring and coaching
Companies have embraced coaching by calling it mentoring, which seems to technically differ from coaching because it is a holistic perspective and less goal specific. Often it comes with no financial cost to the business as it utilises the existing human resources. Mentoring is usually for short periods like a year and intended to be driven by the mentee which is also the reason that the benefit peters out over time. The saying “you get what you pay for” seems to highlight the difficulty with mentoring over a longer term. Advice is usually about networking and career advancement for an individual. In most instances, a mentor provides advice, a coach facilitates a highly effective process which benefits the individual and the company.
Cost of Coaching - “Billing for an outcome”
Companies are built on results but what do you do when your company isn’t achieving them? What normally happens is that you seek out an objective set of eyes to help investigate and identify where the business and its people need support. That’s often the role of a coach. We also know that there is a cost but that exists in both scenarios whether you invest or don’t in improving the business and its people.
Conclusion.
If coaching is a secret formula to success then not having a coach is like quitting or at the very least leaving a lot to chance. It’s true it’s not the norm but then to be different and stand out requires someone to take a chance to improve and not leave it to chance to fail.
Kim Dunlop and Kymbal Dunne agreed to collaborate on this thought leadership piece as it is a topic which they are passionate about. Both believe that coaching is critical to success and unfortunately where many companies’ training budgets have been cut. When business stops investing in its people then it’s up to the individual to invest in themselves.
Kim is a full time coach who manages individuals and companies. Her role is to get the best out of her clients. Kim is currently available to work with new clients. Kim’s contact details are:
E: kim@kdpropertyadvisory.com.au
L: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kim-dunlop-111ab989/
Kymbal is a full time, property advisor whose clients include private investors and Not for Profit organizations. He also mentors young people in real estate. He has spent 12 years as an amateur athletics coach and age manager of young girls creating an amazing performance culture. Some of these young women have gone on to represent Australia. Kymbal’s contact details are: